Summer

Well, summer has finally passed. And when I say "finally" I really mean it.

It does sound somewhat sad to say, but this has been a summer of constant change, being stretched, challenged, and uncomfortableness. Yet, it has been wonderful, life-changing, and thought provoking.

Summer started when I came back in June, after my grandmother had passed. I came back full swing into the ministry. I never really had any down time to process. Nor did I necessarily want it. For me it was easier to just keep going rather than think about what had happened and face the change in my life. However, as with most things it caught up to me. And I realized that I was miserable, tired, worn out, and just broken. I could barely work, I couldn't be there for the people that needed me, and I couldn't serve God to the best of my ability, which is what I'm ultimately called to do. My prayer mentor and manager gave me  some special shifts where I could just take some time for myself to get rested and refreshed.  In those two days I read a book called "Hind's Feet in High Places" It's a devotional in story format, which centers around a girl called Much-Afraid and she is much afraid and shepherd who wishes to change her life.  This shepherd leads her on a journey to become  Grace and gives her two companions, Suffering and Sorrow, who eventually become joy and peace. What hit me the most was this one part where Much-Afraid is asking the Shepherd why he bothers with her clumsiness and fear. He responds "because, I see you as what you will become." That struck me so deeply as what God sees us as, not as we are, but what we will be. It was so encouraging, because it allowed me to feel broken, lost, sad, and hurt, while knowing that it won't be like that forever. Through that I've been learning to me more honest with myself.  And to rest in Him and take Him with me wherever I go. Sounds so simple once I write it down, but for so long I went on my own strength forgetting that he can help me out! I've even learned to rejoice in my sufferings!

So, what I've been doing now is becoming more selfish. Strange I know, but I need my rest, so that I can be used by God, that I can impact lives. I walk to work, I take a moment in the day where I just sit and do nothing. I create a thankful list for what God has done for me. And, I talk to him. The result has been that I am rested, I'm more joyful, more peaceful, less worrisome, and I have a light to shine.

So though this may have been an incredibly difficult summer. I'm so thankful, because I grew closer to God. What else can I ask for?

Small Groups...

Wow,  two posts within in one week! How cool! ( Don't expect this all the time though...)

I just wanted to share something that is close to my heart, something that I believe really encourages and inspires the community. Which is the Small Groups. We have two. One on Tuesdays and one on Thursdays. What they are is a time where volunteers from both Shelter Hostels, City and Jordan, come together and have a time of worship and encouragement. We take 2 hours each week to eat breakfast together, worship,  share our lives and become a little bit more of a family, which is actually what we become.

Over the past 6 months I've really enjoyed seeing the groups grow and change. With each new staff member brings a little something different. And as each staff member leaves you can see how they left a tiny piece of themselves to influence the group.

You can see how people in the beginning are just a bit unsure of themselves and as the weeks go on they become more confident and outgoing. I love being part of that and watching people grow and witnessing the joy that God brings to their lives. Everyone's unique personalities coming together to build each other up in the Lord. What could be better than that? Just an example of true christian fellowship.  

     

Anyway, I just thought I would share that with

you. Hope you enjoyed! 

in the past month...

So it's been awhile and for that I apologize. It took me a bit longer than I expected to get back into the groove of things here in Amsterdam, and even now I'm not entirely sure I have it. However, I'll do an update nonetheless.

In the past month there's been a few changes. People have left. Some of my best friends who were here serving at the shelter before I came. And I hit my halfway mark. I'm back to where I started with 6 months to go.

 And this is what I've learned so far...

You're never going to know it all and you just have to accept that God knows best. I don't know why I keep trying to convince myself that I know what I'm doing.

 If it's meant to happen God will make it happen. A great example of this is when I was trying to figure out how to fly to West Virginia for the month of May I really didn't know how I was going to afford. I really had no money to spend on a plane ticket. Then the day before I decided I was going to book my ticket I got a tax return of 1,600.00 USD! I was so ecstatic! God really had my back! I was meant to go back that was definite.

You have to make yourself vulnerable. This is something I've noticed being a cleaning supervisor. They respond more and appreciate it more when you reveal yourself your struggles, your life, just you. It's a very trying thing though. I never realized just how much it takes to let people in

 It's ok to be sad. Jesus will still love you.

It's ok to be happy. Jesus will still love you

 I'm still learning.... 

So here's a few photos of what's been happening in the past month. 

First Day back and my friends made me a proper english roast! 

Complete with Yorkshire puddings

Went on a boat ride...

Roommates! 

playing a funny little game called Halli Gali

My friend Christoph on his last night in Amsterdam...

Morgan's too...

And Kelsey's...

Just for my mom

Sophie came to visit! 

Seeing how many people we can cram in our room 

4th of July!
Also, now known as American- Canada friendship day

4th of July  BBQ

Making smores...

A beloved shelter tradition....
Bridge jumping
Yes, off that bridge in the back 

Ok, so, obviously it's been awhile. But, sadly I couldn't update this any sooner for several reasons. Well, maybe only 3 reasons...

1. No Time
2. Not emotionally ready
3. Didn't know what to say


This past month (May) I have been in West Virginia serving my family as best I can whether that be running errands, driving, babysitting, cleaning, cooking, just hanging out, or being there when the nurse was. In April my grandmother (Nonne to me) was diagnosed with cancer of unknown origin. I'm pretty sure my heart stopped when my mother told me. I couldn't believe it how in the world could this happen? It was stage 4. The outcome wasn't good. She was laying in the hospital as fluid was slowly filling her lungs. I couldn't stay in Amsterdam and do nothing...Not that praying isn't anything, but you know what I mean.  So I took the earliest flight possible. I haven't regretted it for a moment.

It was a good, long, tough, emotional, heart-wrenching month. I got to laugh with her, share some stories of my sojourns, reminisce, grow with God, and learn. And this is what I learned.

"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven:

a time to be born and a time to die,

a time to plant and a time to uproot,

a time to kill and a time to heal,

a time to tear down and a time to build,

a time to weep and a time to laugh,

a time to mourn and a time to dance,

a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,

a time to embrace and a time to refrain,

a time to search and a to give up,

a time to keep and a to throw away,

a time to tear down and a time to mend,

a time to be silent and a time to speak,

a time to love and a time to hate,

a time for war and a time for peace."  

                               ~ Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

It's been a hard lesson and I'm still trying to figure out when all the right times are, but thats what God's for right? He'll show me the way.

So on May 31, 2011 My Nonne Rose Mary B. Tennant passed away.

Coming to West Virginia I had the overwhelming sense of being blessed. God has given me so much. He gave me a grandmother who lived her life to the fullest. Put her all into everything, appreciated the beauty in everything. Who had such passion for life that when you were around her you couldn't help but feel it spill over to you. I'm going to miss her more than words can say, and I don't know if I've quite grasped that she's gone. I am forever thankful for being able to spend her last month with her.

Below is a letter I wrote and read at her funeral.

Dear Nonne,

From the moment I would walk into your house I was greeted with a warm hello and a “Come give your Nonne a big kiss!” You would then ask if I was wearing an undershirt and I would eagerly nod yes so I could receive my 25 cents. From late night movies of Shirley Temple and her 55 curls “every night her mother would put them in” you would tell me, to the animal shows about snakes and other slimy reptiles, from my first prom dress to my costume for a play, you were there. With a word of encouragement or advice, “Eliza make sure you slow down when you speak and ENUNCIATE, enunciate, enunciate” When I called and asked you for some background on your family for a school project, I was treated to stories of how your grandmother went into labor in a tomato patch in Italy and when her overly social husband didn’t make it back in time she cut the umbilical cord with her teeth, how your mother cooked turtles, and the barber shop your daddy owned.  Trips to Gabs turned into fabulous adventures and whole day excursions. There was never a dull moment.

            When you said you were going to Italy to look up long lost relatives I jumped at the chance to go. What an adventure was that!  Filled with memories that I will treasure forever. Walking through your great-grandmothers house, attending mass where your ancestors did, finding the Brunetti family crest, riding in tiny cars through the hillside of San Giovanni in Fiore, discovering your cousins and eating dinner at their house, climbing step after step to some ancient ruins in Sicily, playing Canasta every evening. You opened my eyes to how big the world is and how much there is to see, you appreciated the beauty in everything. You gave me a gift that I can never repay of daring to dream big and push on.

           

So Nonne, Gratzie and Aldente (Well done, she always used that the wrong way),

                                                I love you,

                                                            Eliza 

Life

So, it's been awhile since I last updated you all. And, well, life here never seems to slow down. Right now the hostel is getting ready for Easter weekend. We've planned lots of activities including a dutch food tasting, painting eggs, a city tour, and a free dinner with a short message.

All of this is great, but I can't help but feel that we should put this much effort into what we do everyday. Sure, Jesus didn't rise everyday, but he's living in us. So why don't we share that message? Being a christian isn't something that you do once a year or just during christmas. It's a decision you make every single day. To walk with the Lord. I sometimes wonder what kind of message we're sending to the world around us at Easter. "Jesus died for your sins, repent!" yata yata yata. What does that say to unbelievers? How does that help them understand the hope we have in him. The joy that can fill your soul. The everlasting peace that God gives us? The relief that comes with knowing everything is in His hands. Thats the message I want to share.  However, I guess I shouldn't be to picky, because after all it's all a great message. Right? You don't get to pick and choose the bible.

In a recent conversation with a cleaner I was sharing one of my favorite bible verses with him ( Proverbs 16:9)  "In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps" And the cleaner goes "Wow, I really like that, but let me change this..." At that point I cut him off and said. "What? No, you don't agree if you're going to change something" Thats not how it works.

I feel that thats how most of us view life and christianity. We want to pick and choose. We like being a good person, we don't want to argue, just let everyone believe what they want. Agree with some of it, and leave the rest.

Well, thats what I've been thinking about the past few days. Here are some pictures of where I work and Amsterdam. Enjoy!

The Cafe

The Kitchen + Jeff & Josh 

Catching up on some sleep in the garden after a long days work 

My roomie and former roomie

My little blue bike 

One of my favorite canals that I pass everyday 

My work! Lovely view isn't it? lol 

The Staff bulletin board. Can you find me? 

The staff eating dinner. 

A beautiful park. 

The Blossom Park in Amsterdam Bos 

Tree in the garden of the Hostel

I love it. 

Hanging out in a park.
Me, Kelsey, Silke, and Rach 

Tourist photos.
Me, Samuel, Anita

Anita and I 

I am! 

The staff with the Northwestern team that came for 10 days 

Silke and I on Open Mic night

Silke and I cooking dinner 

Just a story

So my friend emailed me this story and I thought I would share it with you. Enjoy!

There was a certain Professor of Religion named Dr. Christianson, a
studious man who taught at a small college in the western United
States.   Dr. Christianson taught the required survey course in
Christianity at this particular institution.  Every student was
required to take this course his or her freshman year, regardless of
his or her major.
     
    Although Dr. Christianson tried hard to communicate the essence of
the gospel in his class, he found that most of his students looked upon
the course as nothing but required drudgery.  Despite his best efforts,
most students refused to take Christianity seriously.
     
    This year, Dr. Christianson had a special student named Steve.  
Steve was only a freshman, but was studying with the intent of going
onto seminary for the ministry.  Steve was popular, he was well liked,
and he was an imposing physical specimen.  He was now the starting
center on the school football team, and was the best student in the
professor's class.
    One day, Dr. Christianson asked Steve to stay after class so he
could talk with him.
     
    "How many push-ups can you do?"
     
    Steve said, "I do about 200 every night."
     
    "200? That's pretty good, Steve," Dr. Christianson said.  "Do you
think you could do 300?"
     
    Steve replied, "I don't know...  I've never done 300 at a time."
     
    "Do you think you could?" again asked Dr. Christianson.
     
    "Well, I can try," said Steve.
     
    "Can you do 300 in sets of 10? I have a class project in mind and I
need you to do about 300 push-ups in sets of ten for this to work.  Can
you do it? I need you to tell me you can do it," said the professor.
     
    Steve said, "Well...  I think I can...yeah, I can do it."
     
    Dr. Christianson said, "Good.  I need you to do this on Friday. 
Let me explain what I have in mind."
     
    Friday came and Steve got to class early and sat in the front of
the room.  When class started, the professor pulled out a big box of
donuts.  No, these weren't the normal kinds of donuts, they were the
extra fancy BIG kind, with cream centers and frosting swirls.  Everyone
was pretty excited it was Friday, the last class of the day, and they
were going to get an early start on the weekend with a party in Dr.
Christianson's class.
     
    Dr. Christianson went to the first girl in the first row and
asked, "Cynthia, do you want to have one of these donuts?"
     
    Cynthia said, "Yes."
     
    Dr. Christianson then turned to Steve and asked, "Steve, would you
do ten push-ups so that Cynthia can have a donut?"
     
    "Sure." Steve jumped down from his desk to do a quick ten.  Then
Steve again sat in his desk.  Dr. Christianson put a donut on Cynthia's
desk.
     
    Dr. Christianson then went to Joe, the next person, and
asked, "Joe, do you want a donut?"
     
     Joe said, "Yes." Dr. Christianson asked, "Steve would you do ten
push-ups so Joe can have a donut?"
     
    Steve did ten push-ups, Joe got a donut.  And so it went, down the
first aisle, Steve did ten pushups for every person before they got
their donut.
     
    Walking down the second aisle, Dr. Christianson came to Scott. 
Scott was on the basketball team, and in as good condition as Steve. 
He was very popular and never lacking for female companionship.
     
    When the professor asked, "Scott do you want a donut?"
     
    Scott's reply was, "Well, can I do my own pushups?"
     
    Dr. Christianson said, "No, Steve has to do them."
     
    Then Scott said, "Well, I don't want one then."
     
    Dr. Christianson shrugged and then turned to Steve and
asked, "Steve, would you do ten pushups so Scott can have a donut he
doesn't want?" With perfect obedience Steve started to do ten pushups.
     
    Scott said, "Hey, I said I didn't want one"
    Dr. Christianson said, "Look, this is my classroom, my class, my
desks, and these are my donuts.  Just leave it on the desk if you don't
want it." And he put a donut on Scott's desk.
     
    Now by this time, Steve had begun to slow down a little.  He just
stayed on the floor between sets because it took too much effort to be
getting up and down.  You could start to see a little perspiration
coming out around his brow.
     
    Dr. Christianson started down the third row.  Now the students were
beginning to get a little angry.  Dr. Christianson asked Jenny, "Jenny,
do you want a donut?"
     
    Sternly, Jenny said, "No."
     
    Then Dr. Christianson asked Steve, "Steve, would you do ten more
push-ups so Jenny can have a donut that she doesn't want?" Steve did
ten....Jenny got a donut.
     
    By now, a growing sense of uneasiness filled the room.  The
students were beginning to say "No" and there were all these uneaten
donuts on the desks.  Steve also had to really put forth a lot of extra
effort to get these pushups done for each donut.  There began to be a
small pool of sweat on the floor beneath his face, his arms and brow
were beginning to get red because of the physical effort involved.
     
    Dr. Christianson asked Robert, who was the most vocal unbeliever in
the class, to watch Steve do each push up to make sure he did the full
ten pushups in a set because he couldn't bear to watch all of Steve's
work for all of those uneaten donuts.  He sent Robert over to where
Steve was so Robert could count the set and watch Steve closely.
     
    Dr. Christianson started down the fourth row.  During his class,
however, some students from other classes had wandered in and sat down
on the steps along the radiators that ran down the sides of the room. 
When the professor realized this, he did a quick count and saw that now
there were 34 students in the room.  He started to worry if Steve would
be able to make it.
     
    Dr. Christianson went on to the next person and the next and the
next.  Near the end of that row, Steve was really having a rough time. 
He was taking a lot more time to complete each set.
     
    Steve asked Dr. Christianson, "Do I have to make my nose touch on
each one?"
     
    Dr. Christianson thought for a moment, "Well, they're your
pushups.  You are in charge now.  You can do them any way that you
want." And Dr. Christianson went on.
     
    A few moments later, Jason, a recent transfer student, came to the
room and was about to come in when all the students yelled in one
voice, "NO, don't come in Stay out!"
     
    Jason didn't know what was going on.  Steve picked up his head and
said, "No, let him come."
     
    Professor Christianson said, "You realize that if Jason comes in
you will have to do ten pushups for him?"
     
    Steve said, "Yes, let him come in.  Give him a donut."
     
    Dr. Christianson said, "Okay, Steve, I'll let you get Jason's out
of the way right now.  Jason, do you want a donut?"
     
    Jason, new to the room, hardly knew what was going on.  "Yes," he
said, "give me a donut."
     
    "Steve, will you do ten push-ups so that Jason can have a donut?"
Steve did ten pushups very slowly and with great effort.  Jason,
bewildered, was handed a donut and sat down.
     
    Dr. Christianson finished the fourth row, and then started on those
visitors seated by the heaters.  Steve's arms were now shaking with
each push-up in a struggle to lift himself against the force of
gravity.  By this time sweat was profusely dropping off of his face,
there was no sound except his heavy breathing; there was not a dry eye
in the room.
     
    The very last two students in the room were two young women, both
cheerleaders, and very popular.  Dr. Christianson went to Linda, the
second to last, and asked, "Linda, do you want a doughnut?"
     
    Linda said, very sadly, "No, thank you."
     
    Professor Christianson quietly asked, "Steve, would you do ten push-
ups so that Linda can have a donut she doesn't want?" Grunting from the
effort, Steve did ten very slow pushups for Linda.
     
    Then Dr. Christianson turned to the last girl, Susan.  "Susan, do
you want a donut?"
     
    Susan, with tears flowing down her face, began to cry.  "Dr.
Christianson, why can't I help him?"
     
    Dr. Christianson, with tears of his own, said, "No, Steve has to do
it alone, I have given him this task and he is in charge of seeing that
everyone has an opportunity for a donut whether they want it or not. 
When I decided to have a party this last day of class, I looked my
grade book.  Steve here is the only student with a perfect grade. 
Everyone else has failed a test, skipped class, or offered me inferior
work.  Steve told me that in football practice, when a player messes up
he must do push-ups.  I told Steve that none of you could come to my
party unless he paid the price by doing your push ups.  He and I made a
deal for your sakes."
     
    "Steve, would you do ten push-ups so Susan can have a donut?" As
Steve very slowly finished his last pushup, with the understanding that
he had accomplished all that was required of him, having done 350
pushups, his arms buckled beneath him and he fell to the floor.
     
    Dr. Christianson turned to the room and said.  "And so it was, that
our Savior, Jesus Christ, on the cross, plead to the Father, 'into thy
hands I commend my spirit.' With the understanding that He had done
everything that was required of Him, He yielded up His life.  And like
some of those in this room, many of us leave the gift on the desk,
uneaten."
     
    Two students helped Steve up off the floor and to a seat,
physically exhausted, but wearing a thin smile.
     
    "Well done, good and faithful servant," said the professor,
adding, "Not all sermons are preached in words."
     
    Turning to his class, the professor said, "My wish is that you
might understand and fully comprehend all the riches of grace and mercy
that have been given to you through the sacrifice of our Lord and
Savior Jesus Christ.  He spared not only His Begotten Son, but gave Him
up for us all, for the whole Church, now and forever.  Whether or not
we choose to accept His gift to us, the price has been paid."
     
    "Wouldn't you be foolish and ungrateful to leave it lying on the
desk?" 

Suffereings...

So it's been about 2 months since I've been here. And I've now graduated to doing 3 jobs instead of just the cafe. I can now successfully check you in and out of the hostel, tell you how to get to the airport, where the train station is, and if you're looking for a fun free something to do on a Tuesday night I can recommend a great little jazz place. Thats reception. The other job is cleaner supervisor, which basically means I oversee the cleaners as they clean the hostel. It involves a lot of climbing the stairs, folding laundry, cleaning drains, inspecting beds/rooms, and leading bible discussions. They say is it's the worst and best job in the hostel. After a week I have to say I agree.

You're working one on one with our cleaners, who come from all over the place, from different backgrounds, different beliefs, and different struggles. Most of them are searching for a safe place in this world.

This past month we had a young man from Romania who has had some terrible things happen in his life. He has no where to go after this, no job, no family. It can break your heart, because you want to help them so much, but what can you really do? Just because you introduce Christ into their life doesn't guarantee that they'll accept Him or believe. You can pray and pray and pray and continue praying.

We expect immediate visible answers all the time, that I think we sometimes forget (or at least I do) that God is working everything out on His timetable not ours. He is the one that changes hearts and minds. Just because you accept Him doesn't mean your life is going to all of a sudden be perfect. He says we need to rejoice in our sufferings.

"Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us." 
 - Romans 5:3-5

But who wants to suffer, much less rejoice in it?! It's something that non-believers don't get, heck, even christians don't always get it. It comes down to the age old question: If God is so great, wonderful, and all powerful why do bad things happen? Because of sin. But why does sin exist? There's so many questions so many thoughts. In the end  I believe it all comes down to faith and the hope we have in Jesus. The hope of a new life in heaven, one that is eternal, one that is with God.

What a promise that is.


Anywho, I kind of went off on a tangent there. Hope you were able to follow it.


Love always,
Eliza :]

Hanging Out

 So... have you been wondering what I'm up to? Here are a few pictures of stuff thats going on in the house this past month.

My friend Rachel and I watching soccer

What a normal conversation looks like between the 2 of us.

View from the roof 

just hanging out on the roof taking pictures 

The street below us 

Dutch houses 

Me, jeff, rachel, josh trying to figure out
 if we can stand on the ledge to take a picture...

No, we're not praying, just looking at some funny pictures 

A cool shot.
Chris holding the camera, then Rachel, Kelsey, and Jeff 

Playing charades after a Valentine's Day Dinner 

For Valentine's Day the Girls cooked a dinner for the boys 

Most of the staff 

Brownies I made 

Some yummy vanilla cupcakes I also made! 

Me, Jeff, and Bjorn 

Getting Dinner prepped 

The boys bought chocolates for the girls! 

The Valentine's Day table 

Me, Kelsey, Kim at Kelsey's Bday celebration 

Working in the Cafe. 

I hope to have some pictures of March soon!